That's enough!

Why do Jews say 'Dayenu'?

The last two nights we sang a well-known Pesach song, known by it’s refrain ‘Dayenu’. It contains fifteen lines describing good things that happened to the people of Israel as they left Egypt, each in the format “If only X had happened, and not X+1, dayenu, that would have been enough for us.” This poem isn’t part of the ancient haggadot, first appearing in the tenth-century text of Saadia Gaon, and where it originally came from and when is the subject of research. [The following is a summary of this interesting article by Prof.Jonathan Rabinowitz:] Some scholars claim very early origins, arguing that since it ends with the construction of the Temple but doesn’t mention its absence, it must have been composed before the destruction of the second temple in the year 70. Others point out a parallel with a second-century Christian text called Peri Pascha written by Bishop Melito of Sardis, that seems to mock Jews for their ingratitude at every step of their journey:

Ungrateful Israel, come to trial with me concerning your ingratitude…
How much did you value the descent into Egypt, and your refreshment there under Joseph the just?
How much did you value the ten plagues?
How much did you value the pillar by night, and the cloud by day, and the crossing of the Red Sea?
How much did you value the heavenly gift of manna… ?

This may have inspired another Christian text, Improperia, “The Reproaches,” a later poem similar to Dayenu in form that was eventually included in the traditional liturgy for Good Friday. Since the 1960s, Jewish groups have demanded the Vatican to remove it from the liturgy, saying that it presents and reinforces hate of the Jews: many churches have, or have reinterpreted the reproaches to refer to the ingratitude of humanity rather than those of Jews. [I don’t know what the situation is in catholic churches in France.] While for a while scholars considered these Christian texts to be responding to Dayenu in some way, some have recently claimed the opposite, that the Hebrew text came to insist that Jews are grateful for everything given by God.

In any case, there seem to be earlier Jewish sources for this formulation of “If only… enough”. Last Shabbat, we read a special haftara from the book of Malachi, where the prophet promises, in the name of God, that the people will be rewarded if they listen to the laws of the Torah:

אִם־לֹ֧א אֶפְתַּ֣ח לָכֶ֗ם אֵ֚ת אֲרֻבּ֣וֹת הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם וַהֲרִיקֹתִ֥י לָכֶ֛ם בְּרָכָ֖ה עַד־בְּלִי־דָֽי׃

I will surely open the floodgates of the sky for you and pour down on you blessings immeasurable (Malachi 3:10)

The Talmud comments and changes the meaning of this strange phrase ‘ad bli dai’

רִבִּי בְּרֶכְיָה וְרִבִּי חֶלְבּוֹ וְרַב אַבָּא בַּר עִילָאִי בְּשֵׁם רַב עַד שֶׁיִּיבְלוּ שִׂפְתוֹתֵיכֶם מִלּוֹמֶר דַּיֵינוּ בְּרָכוֹת דַּיֵינוּ בְּרָכוֹת.

Rebbi Berekhiah said in the name of Rav: Until your lips will wear out saying, we have enough blessings, we have enough blessings! (Yerushalmi Berakhot 9:5, cf. Taanit 9a)

There is an interesting and subtle shift here. The word dai, means ‘sufficient’, ‘abundant’, ‘enough’. The biblical text says that the blessing will be infinite, ‘with no enough’. The Talmudic reading however is that the people will respond to the blessing precisely by saying ‘enough!’ Why should this be their response to getting something good? It should be our reaction to experiencing things which are bad or which disturb us: I remember an activist friend in Israel who had a sign saying simply ‘Dai’ that she would bring to every demonstration.

But we know that this is sometimes the case. Not always, but these situations are not foreign to us: we refuse compliments, we’re overwhelmed by good wishes, something in us brings us to say ‘stop! enough!’ I think also of the people of Israel receiving the Torah, literally hearing the word of God. Their first response is to say ‘stop!’

וַיֹּֽאמְרוּ֙ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֔ה דַּבֵּר־אַתָּ֥ה עִמָּ֖נוּ וְנִשְׁמָ֑עָה וְאַל־יְדַבֵּ֥ר עִמָּ֛נוּ אֱ—לֹהִ֖ים פֶּן־נָמֽוּת׃

They said to Moshe: You speak with us, and we will hearken, but let not God speak with us, lest we die! (Exodus 20:16)

Too much of anything, good or bad, floods our systems. And saying ‘stop’ is actually what we associate with maturity. In the Dayenu song, we don’t really believe declarations like “If we had only come to the sea and not crossed it, dayenu, that would have been enough for us.” But this demand to pause at every point insists that even being fortunate needs to happen in manageable steps.

Rebbe Nachman says that knowing how to limit blessing is the essence of what it means to be compassionate.

וְכֵן מִי שֶׁאֵינוֹ יוֹדֵעַ אֵיךְ לְהִתְנַהֵג עִם הָרַחֲמָנוּת, אֲזַי יוּכַל לְרַחֵם עַל תִּינוֹק שֶׁל אַרְבָּעָה יָמִים, לִתֵּן לוֹ מַאֲכָל הַצָּרִיךְ לְגָדוֹל, וְלֹא לְקָטָן כָּזֶה, כִּי קָטָן כָּזֶה צְרִיכִין לְזוּנוֹ רַק עַל יְדֵי חָלָב דַּוְקָא. עַל־כֵּן צָרִיךְ לֵידַע אֵיךְ לְהִתְנַהֵג עִם הָרַחֲמָנוּת, שֶׁלְּקָטָן כָּזֶה צְרִיכִין לְרַחֵם לִתֵּן לוֹ חָלָב דַיְקָא, וּלְגָדוֹל – מַאֲכָל הַצָּרִיךְ לוֹ, וְכֵן עַל כָּל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד צְרִיכִין לְרַחֵם בַּמֶּה שֶׁצָּרִיךְ לוֹ:

Someone who does not know how to exercise compassion might “pity” a four-day-old infant by feeding it foods suitable for an adult, and not for such an infant. Such an infant must be nourished specifically on milk. It is therefore necessary to know how to act with compassion… and it is necessary to show compassion to each person as is suitable for him. (Likkutei Moharan II:7)

A leader who shows compassion [and later Rebbe Nachman will identify such a leader with Moses, and maybe with himself too] is someone who knows how to give each person what they need rather than what they are able to be given. The one able to transmit goodness and blessing has to hold back and say ‘dai’, create boundaries in order for the blessing to be effective. This is one of God’s names: Shaddai, which is understood in the midrash (Pirkei D’Rabbi Eliezer 3) as ‘the one who says Dai, enough’ : the image recounted is that when God created the heavens, they spread out towards infinity, and God had to stop them and impose limits. That is, God had to limit God’s power in order for creation to have a space to be created.

During this week of Pesach, this is something to reflect on. Of course we need to say Dai to things which are wrong in this world, that goes without saying is the core of being a liberated person. We are also called upon to say Dai to what is right in the world. The seders are finished and what is left this week is basically the limitations. But the Jewish attitude is that limitations are needed to receive anything of value. Dai Dayenu, if we encounter too much we might lose control, or lose the proper perspective. With just the right amount of restrictions (Shabbat, kashrut, self-control, renunciation of hateful speech or acts) we can appreciate the world we encounter exactly as it is.

Shabbat shalom and Pesach samea’h.